Daily Authenticity Day 6 - Beginning

I’m tired this morning. I went to bed way too late last night. I shall nap later today I think.

I have lots of appointments I should make today but since phonecalls are stressful I have decided to stick to one. When I have like four to make it always produces anxiety for me, sometimes severe anxiety. Phonecalls don’t make me anxious just the things they are about cause me anxiety. I only ever make phone calls to make appointments; with the sole exception of a friend that cant stand eye contact so we use phonecalls instead of Google Hangouts.

It is funny I hate the dentist as much as most people do, but not for the typical reasons. I hate the small talk. It actually feels me with anxious feelings of dread in my stomach. Small talk is hard already, throw novocaine and drilling into a tooth into the mix and it is terrifyingly hard. I wish I could find a dentist that would just do the work and not want to talk about it. Funny thing is, I think a lot of dentists get especially talkative with me because they see I’m nervous and anxious; they are trying to get me to relax by talking. If only they knew the smalltalk is what makes me nervous. hashtag autistic problems.

I have found that my small talk anxiety is decreasing. Meeting strangers and Valiocon and conversing really really helped. I think I can practice the anxiety away. Eventually the exposure to small talk situations will rewire my brain. I can do it!

I’m fighting with npm this morning, something crazy weird is going on with nyc dependencies on a project. I keep getting the following:

> nyc ava | tap-spec

    throw err;

Error: Cannot find module 'lru-cache'
    at Function.Module._resolveFilename (module.js:339:15)
    at Function.Module._load (module.js:290:25)
    at Module.require (module.js:367:17)
    at require (internal/module.js:16:19)
    at Object.<anonymous> (.../node_modules/nyc/node_modules/foreground-child/node_modules/cross-spawn-async/lib/parse.js:2:22)
    at Module._compile (module.js:413:34)
    at Object.Module._extensions..js (module.js:422:10)
    at Module.load (module.js:357:32)
    at Function.Module._load (module.js:314:12)
    at Module.require (module.js:367:17)

I think what is happening is that something didn’t specify lru-cache. Maybe someone expected to be a dependency of something else, and it was removed as a dependency, breaking things all the way up the stack. I don’t know. Small npm issues like this occur constantly though. It amazes me how broken npm is for something so widely used. Powers half the web and it is frustratingly bad. We need better tools.

I need a nap.

Things I Will Do Today

  • Get a PR finished and merged for work project
  • Laundry
  • Make passport appointment
  • Groom Nana (my Newfoundland dog)
  • Finish GetGoodAt backend. Ambitious. But I’m going to code like crazy this evening. I can do it!